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Gabrielle Union celebrated her 40th birthday over the weekend! In her interview with Just The Fab excerpted from Bossip, she opened up about her relationship with Dwyane Wade. When asked whether Gabrielle saw marriage in her future, she answered, "We like each other a lot and both failed miserably the last time either one of us got married. I think we?re doing it slow. When you rush in, then people have crap to say; if you go too slow people have stuff to say. We have to take it at the pace that?s great for us."

Gabrielle's right. People will always have something to say -- myself included. I understand she wants to take it slow. Yet, I wouldn't talk too much about how Dwayne and she failed miserably in their last marriages. Quite frankly, it isn't anyone's business. Talking about their past and plans to take it slow will only subject them to other opinions.

But, the reason why her comment caught my attention had more to do with how I want Dwayne to perceive Gabby. Ok, so her last marriage didn't work out. What I'd like to see her avoid, though, is using words like "failed miserably." Those are two big words! All she had to say is, "We like each other and will see what happens." I understand she was being honest and can appreciate that. As an objective reader, though, it sounded like...baggage.

Letting your partner know, "I failed last time, but like you a lot" doesn't sound positive. True, it's a backwards compliment. You acknowledge that your past relationships didn't work out for the best. Thus, you're intent on going slow because you like the person you're dating and don't want to ruin it. Nevertheless, it's a deep thing to say. It can be perceived as placing too much emphasis on the past instead of feeling positive about the present.?

Whenever someone tells me, "I failed" in a relationship, I always say they shouldn't be so hard on themselves. If they can honestly say they tried their best (or even if they didn't), it takes a lot to make relationships and marriages work. In no sense am I being cavalier about commitment. My point is that I wouldn't use the words "fail miserably" in my next relationship. Keep it as positive as possible when it comes to reflecting and discussing past romances.

Lastly, I had a quick note to Bossip - I know the reporters and writers wanted to end the tension they've had with Gabrielle. But, calling her a "Hollyweird banger" isn't exactly complimentary. Take it from someone who lives in Los Angeles, it's somewhat offensive. Not to mention, the word "Hollyweird" is tired. Gabrielle is not about "that life" compared to a lot of the other wrecks out here. Plus, she's 40, is a supportive girlfriend, and helps Dwayne's children with their homework. If you want a better relationship with Gabrielle, maybe pay closer attention to the adjectives used when describing her.

Until next time...

Shine like Platinum!
Vanessa

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Source: http://www.platinumgirlcelebrityblog.com/2012/10/gabrielle-union-says-she-failed.html

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